T__T sobs i can't stop crying.. rite now..
mum is admitting herself in the hospital.
shes' been coughing really really badly for 5 months..till now
she said chances are.. asthma.. and can't remember what's the other called
but it is serious. afraid that she might go soon.. ( ya noe wat i mean.. sigh)
in case anything happen in the middle of the night
mum was afraid that she could not make it to the hospital
and she's doing it coz she's afraid that we might get it.
sigh already having high blood pressure and all that
is giving her a hard time & now this?
this one stupid qn stays in my head.
is mum going to leave us soon ? ...

we were actually on the way to the market
when she told me that its hard for her to catch up.
held her hands and walk slowly with her.. she look reli ill
then my uncle suddenly called ..she had a long talk on the hp
everything seemed so serious. me and my bros just keep quiet
& after that. mum decided to go home & pack her stuff.
" spending mothers day in the hospital..so sad.. "
" my childeren are all big..maybe its time for me to leave "
its so damn obvious to know who would be the 1st person to cry, it was me.
i sat at the back of the car and i cried silently..
not to let anybody know i was crying..
idk if she notice my nose was red when i got back home.
she ask me to iron her clothes and she packed..
i try not to cry infront of her but ..i just can't control my tears
went to the toilet and burst out crying..
before she left she told me to take care of dad
make sure he doesn't slip and fell . make sure everything was clean
we had to wash our uniforms ourselves and cook.
that's the reason why sometimes parents keep asking to do chores
so we won't be so damn helpless when they're gone.
we would know what to do by ourselves instead of them doing for us.
sigh last year was my dad..now my mum? hmm..they're getting old.

my brothers followed. & i stayed at home.
kissed her on her cheeks. & when she left i cried again.
ya alone right now ..crying like what. using up all the tissues
a day without mum is so lonely.. idk when she would be back
imagining her alone at the hospital.. sigh.. she would certainly miss us.
i feel super sad for her. & mothers day is tmr..
i pray to God she would get well soon, i know its going to be tough for her.
but i know she's strong. mummy i love you so much.
& i can't bear to see you like this. i'm gonna cry all night..
remembering last year's mothers day. what you said to me
i still remember. but i forgive you..
& Forgive me if i've hurt you. even though it has been a few hours
i'm already missing you.